GOLF PANTIES

The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing anyskivvies?', Ole demanded. Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.'

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. 'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?'She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.' Patrick reaches into his pocket and says , 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!'

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it 'Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?' She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.' The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb.....Tidy yerself up a bit.

Compliments of John Hutson

POLISH DIVORCE

A Polish man moved to the UK and married an English girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange adivorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?-Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?- It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge?- No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like?- All my relations still in Poland
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?- We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?- No, I am always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?- No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?-She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?-I got proof.
What kind of proof?- She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put onshelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:"Polish Remover".